The report then went on to talk about two villages outside of Durango, Mexico, where bandits have been attacking the villages, taking people hostage, and holding them for ransom. The Mexican army is apparently so powerless in the region that they recommended that the villagers build moats (!) around their village to keep out the bandits, which the villagers did.

Here’s where my storyteller’s eye comes in, although this is more of a remake than an original story. In fact, it’s plagiarism on a large scale, but it’s been done before. Transpose the story from Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai to 21st century Mexico–or the cowboy-tale of The Magnificent Seven.

Villages are being attacked by bandits. The government and army are powerless. The villagers have to defend themselves, but are not up to the task. Enter a group of ex-Special Forces agents (modern Samurai), who agree to defend the village. There would of course be seven of them, one of whom would probably be nicknamed Gringo and would be analogous to Toshiro Mifune’s character in the Seven Samurai–young, sort of an outcast, little experience, but with all of the heart in the world.

These seven Special Forces guys would then lay out a defense of the village, and eventually do battle with and annihilate the bandits–but at terrible cost to themselves. Nevertheless, the villagers are saved and can carry on, as they always do.

I’m happy to say that the Cartoon Network TV series is a lot better than the movie.  It involves a more varied and interesting cast of characters, including some individual fleshed-out clones, and favorite members of the Jedi Council, such as Yoda.  One episode featuring Yoda was very reminiscent of the Yoda from The Empire Strikes Back, and I feel that this was a conscious attempt to get back to Star Wars’s roots.  This Yoda vacillated between the playful swamp-dweller that Luke first met to the philosophizing Jedi that taught young Skywalker how to use the Force.

The story-arc thus far follows members of the Jedi Council as they try to uncover the whereabouts of a secret Separatist weapon that is decimating Republic starfleets.  The plot is involved, and, at times, adult, as when the Jedi consider the perils of cloning and the expendability of life.

If this all sounds way too nerdy, you can always watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia–my pick for the funniest show currently on TV.  This week’s episode had the gang trying to uncover who pooped in Charlie and Frank’s bed (episode title: “Who Pooped the Bed?”).  The fact that the episode was organized like a classic film noir mystery highlighted the plot’s hilarity.  When, between crashes of thunder and flashes of lightning, series-regular Artemis cries out, “Everyone in this room is a suspect!” you can’t help but laugh, especially when there are plates filled with feces in the foreground.

That aside, it must be said that Newman was one of the greatest actors of all time. He will be remembered for his iconic performances in “Cool Hand Luke”, “The Hustler”, “Hud”, and perhaps his most memorable role in “Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.” Newman was also one of the most accomplished philanthropists around. Who among us hasn’t eaten Newman brand salad dressing or popcorn? Every cent that was ever made by those products was donated directly to childrens charities.

Whenever I hear the name of Paul Newman, I’ll always remember the fantastic scene in “Cool Hand Luke” when he hears that his mother has just passed away. The other prisoners leave him alone and he picks up a banjo that his mother had given him on her visit to the prison. He sings a silly song about Dashboard Jesus as tears begin to stream down his face. He never stops singing though and it doesn’t show in his voice. Just when it seems like he’s going to fully break down, he sings the song with more volume and energy than before. It is a tremendous performance.

Paul Newman was such a talented actor, it seemed like you knew him. He could have been your cool uncle or the most awesome grandpa that you ever had. I don’t think it is wrong to say that the world is a little less bright now that Paul Newman is gone.

Continuing with the irreverent humor that made the series’s first three seasons so funny, season four is off to a great start.  What amazes me is how low this show is flying under the radar.  Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s on a cable station after dark; perhaps it’s the cussing; perhaps the controversial issues it deals with, from abortion to molestation to corrupt politics.  Whatever it is that’s keeping Always Sunny out of the larger consciousness, it’s criminal, considering how popular other, lesser shows have become.  Here’s to another great season.

The plot is simple. Four powerful men who seem to run everything in a small Italian town decide to capture eight young men and eight young women to hold captive in a large mansion. The film is set in 1944, right at the end of the Facist rule of Italy, and the four men are the most tyrannical of fascists. They take their victims to a beautiful, sun-drenched villa, and announce to them that they will be put through Hell for however long as the four men decide. Each day they are forced to listen to graphic stories told by a prostitute about her various encounters, while the men pull certain captives aside and do with them what they will.

The film is divided into four parts, The Antechamber of Hell, Circle of Obsessions, Circle of Shit, and finally Circle of Blood. The captives are put through the most gruelling, vile, and graphic tortures ever put on film. The content of Salo is unlike any other film I’ve seen. Nothing is left to the imagination. Just look at the titles of the four parts and let your imagination do the rest.

The controversy surrounding the film is sometimes more discussed than the film itself. The director, Pier Paolo Passolini, was murdered shortly after the completion of the film. Some say he was murdered because of the content of the film, but that has never been proven. The film was banned in almost every country worldwide. It took a lawsuit some years after Passolini’s death to get the original cut of the film seen.

Based on a novel by famed libertine the Marquis de Sade, Salo is not for everyone. Some would say it’s not for anyone. But despite all the controversy, at the heart is a well made film. It was photographed by Tonino Delli Colli, best known for his work on the spagetti westerns of Sergio Leone. The production design is by Dante Ferretti, who would go on the win Oscars for desigining the films of Martin Scorsese. The score is by Ennio Morricone, perhaps the best known film composer of all time. Would all these skilled artists lend their talents to a piece of sensationalistic pornography? It is highly doubtful.

Despite the shocking aspects, their are moments of beauty in Salo. As the young men and women are being dragged to their torturous futures, they stand outside the villa which is by the sea. The sun and surroundings make for a picture postcard of Italy. Knowing what is in store for the young people makes this moment even more beautiful. This is their last look at the world. When the prostitute character is introduced, we see her preparing with her beauty regiment. She looks like she’s getting ready to attend a royal gala, not a degrading horror show.

The end of the film features even more unspeakable torture. The captives are put in an outdoor prison where they are tortured and killed. This sequence is seen through binoculars as the rich facists watch with delight. The last image of the film is that of two of the young guards dancing together in a room filled with works of art. One of the boys asks the other what the name of his girlfriend is, he tells him as they dance. After everything we are put through we see the innoncence of youth. These young men were forced to perform attrocities, much like the young men who are forced to go to war are, but they each find a way to get through it. They most likely will not get to go back to their normal lives, but they do not let that deter them. They use that as a motivating factor to keep hope alive. The ending may be the most innocent part of the film, but it is also the most heartbreaking.

Salo needs to be seen more than once for a viewer to even begin to understand what is happening. Most people will not be able to make it through the film, especially the Circle of Shit sequence. But for the serious student of film, Salo is a neccesity. Don’t watch on a full stomach though. I learned that the hard way.

For any atheist who’s ever debated the topic of religion with people, the film’s interviews will be familiar.  They follow a typical course of ridiculousness, where Maher tries to question believers about the more far-fetched aspects of their religion, only to get some incomprehensibly frustrating answer in return.  I was impressed by the variety of people Maher interviewed, from rabbis to priests to Jews for Jesus to ex-Mormons to Muslims to the guy who plays Jesus at the Holy Land themepark in Orlando Florida, to a pothead in Amsterdam whose religion revolves solely around smoking marijuana.  He travels from Megiddo to a trucker’s chapel to Holland to Jerusalem.

The film is at times hilariously funny and always awkward, as you can feel the interviewees’ reluctance to talk on the topic.  Reactions range from anger to being dumbfounded, or, perhaps the funniest and strangest reaction, getting one’s head caught on fire (unsurprisingly, the addict in Amsterdam catches his hair on fire by candles).  At times you even feel afraid for Maher, and can tell that he’s uncomfortable himself, as when he decides to question a Muslim scholar no further when they look upon the rock of the Dome of the Rock, or when people within the mosque eye him angrily.

The audience for this movie is, unfortunately, very small, and is not likely to make a difference.  As Maher’s subjects ignore him, so will any religious person ignore this movie.  The interviews also reinforced a growing feeling within myself that I am on one side of a battle line, feeling very lonely, while the other side is populated with people whose unfounded views can very likely lead to the end of my world.