Baptism by Ice Water: A Christmas Tale

By Michael Pitassi

December in Augusta, Maine, just after the unveiling of the town lights and decorations, is loved by nearly all who experience it. I say nearly because there does happen to be one rather vocal dissenter among the otherwise joyous inhabitants of this enchanting town.

Eugene Ash, a man only forty-five but thought by most to be many years older, was the town crab. He had gained a reputation for growing exceptionally bitter, year after year, as the month of December advanced toward Christmas Day. He was rather cheerful the other eleven months of the year, but as the rest of the town began to perk up for the holiday, Eugene Ash took on the persona of a cloud of soot. And he didn’t mind the negative attention, in fact he more or less asked for it. He purposefully wore darker clothing around this time, perfected his scowl, and needled the townsfolk with caustic and satirical remarks. Eugene Ash had become as much a part of the holiday traditions in Augusta as the giant Christmas tree in the center of town or the lights strung along Kennebec River.

Because Eugene Ash lived alone, and more so because of his Christmastime theatrics, he came to be known to some as Augusta’s Ebenezer. It was an expected association, but one that wasn’t entirely warranted, for Eugene Ash wasn’t a miser or a “scrooge.” He had very logical and intellectual reasons for disliking the Christmas season. Continue reading →